I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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