just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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