but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
