and you said cock pushups were impossible
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
accomplished twins. life is a go
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
