fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
