i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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