I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
