that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
it was like eating out sand paper
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
