I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Sorry about my life...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
