first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
this will be a night to untag.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
you are never too drunk for berry picking
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
