he wants to bone in the snuggie
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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