You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
