And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
