I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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