If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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