Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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