im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
