I must be too annoying 4 u.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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