someone get that fucking seahorse.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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