I wish I could teleport
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
