Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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