Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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