So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
