go do what you do best...puke behind churches
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
