when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
