We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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