ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
