if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
