i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
