the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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