Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
