i need an iv and a liver transplant
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
