I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
