I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
There are leaves in my underwear?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
