Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
