Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
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