So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
