he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
