Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
