How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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