I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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