i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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