Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
