Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
