so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
