Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
