Grow some girl-balls and come out already
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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