It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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