Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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