Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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